


Romance with comments from the peanut gallery

by Nary



Category: The Gamers (Movies)
Genre: Comedy, Dungeons & Dragons, F/M, Love, Role-Playing Game, Roleplaying Character, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-24
Updated: 2013-12-24
Packaged: 2018-01-05 22:32:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1099352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nary/pseuds/Nary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>"Tell me, Osric," says Daphne, smiling at him from across the campsite, "what are your thoughts about... love?"</i> </p><p>  <i>"Well, love is the force that drives the universe," he replies thoughtfully.  "Without love, there would be no hope, nothing to go on living for.  The gods' love for us..."</i> </p><p>"Typical paladin answer," Cass said under his breath.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Romance with comments from the peanut gallery

**Author's Note:**

  * For [professor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/professor/gifts).



> _  
> _
> 
> Osric waits until the others have gone to sleep around the campfire that night before he gathers his courage and seizes the opportunity to speak to Daphne privately. 
> 
> "Lady Daphne, I owe you thanks for saving my life." He presents to her a bouquet of wildflowers, stealthily picked while he was gathering kindling for the fire. "For you... I know it is but a meager recompense."
> 
> Daphne accepts them graciously, with a shy smile. "That's very sweet of you, Sir Osric. Or should I call you Lord Osric now that you've been promoted?"
> 
> "Simply Osric is fine with me," he replies, and the faint glow of the firelight does not completely manage to hide his blush...

_  
_

"Oh seriously, guys, are we playing this out?" Cass drummed his fingers on the table impatiently. "It's kind of cute that your characters are in twu wuv now, but we don't need to roleplay it all. Just like we don't roleplay miles and miles of walking, or every time our characters take a piss in the woods."

"Hey, the last time I took a piss in the woods it was in that sacred druid grove, and then the head druid dude cursed us with boils," Gary said. Everyone turned to look at him. "I just mean, sometimes it's relevant to the plot," he trailed off with a shrug.

"It's charming that you'd compare Daphne's romance plotline to a... a bodily function," Joanna said, "but it's actually important to her development as a character. Besides, we've played through every time Flynn wants to seduce a barmaid."

"That doesn't take any time away from the real game," Leo protested. "I just roll my Seduction and then they sleep with me, because I'm awesome." 

Lodge resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "A little bit of roleplaying never hurt anyone."

"Tell that to all those peasant NPCs Gary killed," muttered Cass. "They'd still be alive today if they hadn't stopped to talk to us."

"Just give us ten minutes to play out the rest of their conversation," Lodge said. "You guys have to finish leveling your characters anyway, so it's not like it's taking valuable time away from combat. Since Joanna came prepared with Daphne already up to eleventh level," he said, favoring her with a smile, "she can have a little bonus scene. Everyone's happy."

Cass, Leo, and Gary bent their heads over their sheets again, scribbling and erasing, consulting the books to help choose new feats. "Heh," Gary said. "Great Cleave."

"You can't take that, you're a spellcaster," Leo pointed out.

"Yeah, but I do have great cleavage," Gary said, smushing his chest with his hands.

Cass rolled a d8 for Brother Silence's hit points. "Dammit, a two? Ugh. Hey, uh, Lodge... if I spring for your share of the pizza tonight, do you think you'd let me have a re-roll?"

Lodge sighed. "While I hate to set a precedent like that, free pizza is awfully tempting. So, sure, just this once."

"Yes!" Cass scooped up his die again, ready to give it another try, then put it down and selected another one, just in case the first one still had some lingering bad luck. "Okay, here we go," he said, rolling the new die between his hands for a moment to warm it up and then letting it fall to the table. It rolled and clattered to a stop on a one. "Aaargh!"

"Oh, too bad. How about you go order the pizza, Cass?" Lodge suggested with a grin he couldn't quite hide.

"Fine, what does everybody want?"

> _  
> _
> 
> "Tell me, Osric," says Daphne, smiling at him from across the campsite, "what are your thoughts about... love?"
> 
> "Well, love is the force that drives the universe," he replies thoughtfully. "Without love, there would be no hope, nothing to go on living for. The gods' love for us..."

_  
_

"Typical paladin answer," Cass said under his breath.

Lodge turned to look at him. "Sorry?"

"I just mean, trotting out all that 'the gods love us all' and 'love makes the world go around' bullshit, when it's obvious she's talking about... you know, love-love."

"Paladins have to have a high Charisma," Leo pointed out. "He should have a great Seduction score." 

"Plus, laying on hands," snickered Gary. "Get it? Laying..."

"I get it," Lodge sighed.

But Cass shook his head. "No, not like that. I mean, he's Sir Osric **the Chaste** , it says so right on his character sheet. He can't just jump in the sack with her, even if he rolls a natural 20."

"Excuse me," said Daphne, "but I'm pretty sure I get to decide who my character sleeps with, not the dice." She glanced over at Lodge, her cheeks a little rosy, whether from embarrassment or anger he wasn't sure. "Right, Kevin?"

"Of course you do," Lodge reassured her. "It's not something that ought to be decided with dice rolls. It's up to the people involved, and whether it makes sense for their characters, and if they're comfortable with it out of game, and... lots of factors." He shuffled some papers behind his screen, as if taking a moment to compose himself. "And anyway," he added, looking up at Cass, "chastity isn't the same as celibacy. Osric has to live a morally pure and virtuous life, but there's nothing in his vows that says he can't date."

"Well then, play the scene better," Cass told him. "No dancing around the subject and crappy-ass answers about love being the light of the universe."

Lodge arched an eyebrow. "I thought you didn't want us to play it out at all."

"I didn't, but if you're gonna do it, at least do it right," Cass said, and went back to examining his character sheet.

__

> _Daphne stands and circles the campfire, coming to sit beside Osric. "Love is very important," she agrees, and puts her hand over his. "Even at the level of weak and fallible humans, the love that one person can feel for another, for instance, might drive them to great deeds and acts of sacrifice. Acts that others might consider foolish, if they don't understand the power of love." She pauses, looking into his eyes._

"The power of love is a curious thing," Leo sang at the top of his lungs. "Make a one man weep, make another man sing..."

Lodge frowned. "What are you doing?" 

"Uh... bardic music?" Leo said hopefully. "I'm inspiring competence!"

Cass snorted with laughter. "Osric could use some. It's obvious he doesn't know anything about women."

Lodge ignored him. "Leo, Flynn's asleep for this scene. No bardic music."

> _  
> _
> 
> Osric smiles at Daphne in return. "Fair maiden, I know that I can never hope to repay you for the noble sacrifice you made for me. All I can give you in return is my heart, if you will accept it."
> 
> "Of course I will," Daphne says, overjoyed. "I've had feelings for you for so long, but I hid them, not wanting to interfere with our mission, or knowing whether you could ever care for me in return. It feels so... so liberating to finally be able to say 'I love you, Osric'." And she leans in closer so that they can share their first kiss...

_  
_

Lodge and Joanna paused, looking at one another for a long moment before they realized that the other players were all staring at them. 

"Well?" said Cass.

"Well what?" Lodge asked briskly.

"Is that it?" Gary asked, leaning forward on his folded arms, character sheet forgotten.

"I didn't think you guys cared," said Lodge. "I thought you just wanted to get on with the 'real game'."

"Yeah, well," Leo muttered bashfully. "I didn't mean that this part wasn't real too. It's kind of cool seeing them talk about their feelings and all that stuff, and I bet it'll change how they act in certain situations too. It's neat."

Gary nodded. "And besides, if your character actually cares about someone, then the GM has a whole new set of ways to screw them around!"

Cass still looked disgruntled. "So they're just going to kiss and then... what, sit around the campfire the rest of the night?"

"Well, right now they're supposed to be on watch," Lodge pointed out. "It would be pretty irresponsible of them to leave you guys without any defenses while you sleep, and I don't think either of them would do that. And after that... well, there are some things that we really don't need to play out."

"At least not at the table," Joanna said with a playful smile, nudging Lodge's foot.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my betas! All resemblances to actual gamers I have played with are purely coincidental, I swear.
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr at [naryrising](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/naryrising) if you want to ask questions, make requests, or chat!


End file.
